Chasing Cars

I was driving this afternoon. In a car. I was completely alone, on a busy road. There were cars on the other side of the road. Coming toward me and passing in the opposite direction. I’ve noticed that normally there’s someone’s car in view (or in rearview) but I couldn’t see anyone else. I also realized that when someone is tailgating me, I hate it, and I speed up to get away from them. I hate that. But while I was driving so lonely, I would give anything to have that person tailgating me so that I could have some form of companionship. Funny how life works.

“My group traveled in a straight line, passing other groups in straight lines going the wrong way. It was better that we had our own groups.”

Stung

I hurt all over

I hurt from being stung once

It hurts every part of me

It hurts because I’m a mess

It hurts because of me, not you

It hurts because you made me realize

It hurts because I realized it

I hurt because you stung me in my heart and made me realize

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

A Stool With Three

A stool with three

strong not is she

may seem to be

support for thee

but don’t thee see

thee must agree

a stool with three

is not for me

Silence and Snow

The sound of snow silence

Speaks wonders of my soul

opposite of violence

my thoughts  the sound has stole

but something lingers here

the frozen footsteps are there

myself thinks of something queer

yesterdays revelences disappear

I Hate Romantic Comedies

I hate romantic comedies.  Every time I watch one I feel like I miss that feeling of being in love.  I miss that feeling of being in love.  I miss everything about being in love.  I miss having to choose between two amazing women.  I miss awkward situations.  I miss you.  But you were never here, and I never had you.  It’s all in my head.  There was no you, us, her.  Oh, how I wish there was an you, us, her.  Why can’t I have you, us, her.  I hate romantic comedies.

Irony

If love and hate were people, I think hate would love love and love would hate hate. Which is kind of ironic. Don’t ya think?

Aquientance

I talked to a bunch of girls today.  All of them are great.  I consider each one a great friend to have.  But at the same time I realized that I’m not really their ‘friend’ I’m more an aquientance to them.  Then I realized that I don’t have any friends, really, just a lot of aquientances.  No one who’s a ‘best friend’ or a group I can call up and hang out with whenever I want.  I used to have this, but I only had it for a brief period of time.  I miss it.  Then I thought ‘I need someone(s) to give all my time too.’  But isn’t that a girlfriend?  I’d have to guess so.  So how am I to get a girlfriend if no one talks to me, or acknowledges me?  I know it seems like the ideal situation for a ladies man, but I’m not a ladies man, far from it, in fact.  I guess I’m not a valuable friend/aquientance.

There’s a saying (though I forget the exact words) that says something about how we all will have someone.  But this is quite untrue (to my findings).  I find that since I’m hitting a troublesome spot and getting quite down about it, that I might never recover.  So if I then give up on finding ‘the one’, I’m left friendless, relationshipless, and lifeless in the bathtub with my wrists cut.

“Life is like a movie, if you’ve sat through more than half of it and its sucked every second so far, it probably isn’t gonna get great right at the end and make it all worthwhile. None should blame you for walking out early.”

-Doug Stanhope

The Silent Walk

This silent walk seems so loud

Hardwood floors tossing me about

This doorway it tends to scream and shout

I wish quietly that I was a cloud

Floating softly into my sleep

I never knew my dreams to be so deep

For The Celebrities (And Their Gossipers)

Some of those

Who write the prose

Do not stop to listen

—

Their faulty lies

And unseen spies

Never seem sufficient

—

Though we know

That this said prose

Is never fact, but fiction

—

Through red-carpet-eyes

Whose character shies

Never oppose transgression

Responsiblility And Freedom

This is just a little writing I happened to stumble upon.  I thought it had a lot of thought put into it, and I agree with most of it.  Hopefully people have some ideas on the matter.

“Yes.  Free choice is inescapable.  We are “condemned to freedom,” as Sartre put it.

Why the negative language (”condemned”)?  Because there is something in us that fears freedom.  If we are free, we are responsible.  We can’t pass the buck to others and blame out society, or our parents, or the government.  Our problem is laziness…

…Most people love freedom when it means being able to do whatever they feel like doing.  But they don’t love freedom when it means the responsibility of making moral choices and living with the results.  Freedom is not easy.  But today we want everything to be easy.  That’s why our political freedom is currently in great danger.  Freedom is not in great danger in places like Poland today, because it is not easy there.  Poles know the value of freedom.  They had to struggle for it, and pay for it.

But whether or not we have political freedom, everyone has moral freedom.  Every human being has the free will to choose between good and evil, and the responsibility to do so.  That’s essential to human nature.  That’s why we are all “condemned to freedom”.”

-Peter Kreeft, Making Choices: Practical Wisdom for Everyday Moral Decisions, pp. 13-14